I just got back to my apartment from a Taco Bell run. The nearest Taco Bell is a few blocks away, but living on fifth avenue and 34th street, the trip isn't short. I was pensive for the whole trip, lost in my own thoughts. I walked through a crowded park near Madison Square. There were hundreds and hundreds of people all crammed into a tiny green block, hemmed in by concrete towers on all sides. Everyone claimed their own couple of square feet of grass and entered into their own world. Women in bikini's trying to shed their northern skin, men in Oakley's and cargo shorts reading books and trying to look cool, families with children trying to find a spot on the playground... It struck me that there were hundreds of people present, but no one was paying any attention to anyone else, it was like there were 400 parks, each only occupying a few feet. On the street, people become obstacles, there are so many of them, no one sticks out in particular, old people, foreign people, children, cool teenagers, loser teenagers, businessmen, construction workers; everyone is a small fish in this pond. There are just so many of them your brain gives up processing what you see, all these people are just in your way, their speed and size becomes more important then their lives and their faces.
My mind flashed back to a time like this in China, I was walking down a crowded street in Zhu Hai after eating a delicious dim sum meal and I became overwhelmed by the thousands and thousands of people that I could see in one simple glance. It bugged me the rest of the day, I remember calling home about it, what good is reaching out to one person in a place with millions and millions of lost people. I come from a town where for the most part you acknowledge people on the street, you don't necessarily talk to them, but you glance and smile or at least notice their existance. Here, you could practically ride down the street on an elephant and not be noticed. (Exaggeration)
I was mulling over these thoughts in my head when a woman came up to me and asked if I would answer a question. I thought she was lost and was happy to help.
She asked if I had heard that God was a woman.
I tried to shake her and her male companion, but they chased me down the street trying to debate me. I was frank, I told them I was trying to eat my taco and I didn't have time to deal with bizarre heretical cults.
I regret that.
I'm afraid of becoming desensetized to people, will I ever learn to see beyond the faceless mob? Can I fulfill my goal of seeing people as God sees them? Both as a photographer and as a man? My heart aches imagining how much His must burn for all of these people, all over the world, in thousands of cities packed with thousands of people...
El Espanol para este no esta buena, lo siento. Use una dictionario por mucho.
Acabo de volver a mi apartamento de un viaje a Taco Bell. El Taco Bell mas cercano es algunos bloques lejos, pero viviendo en 5 Avenida y la 34 calle, el viaje no es facil. Era pensativo para el viaje entero, perdido en mis propios pensamientos. Camine para un parque apretado cerca del cuadrado de Madison. Habia centenares y centenares de gente abarrotada todo en un bloque verde pequena, dobladillado adentro por las torres concretas en todos los lados. Cada uno demando sus propios pares de pies cuadrados de hierba y entro en su propio mundo. Mujeres en traje de banos que intenta verter sus piel nortes, hombres en Oakley' s y libros de los cortos del cargo y el intentar parecer muchachos, familias con los ninos que intentan encontrar un punto en el patio… Me pego que había centenares de presente de la gente, pero nadie prestaba cualquier atención a cualquier persona, él era como allí era 400 parques, cada uno que ocupaba solamente algunos pies. En la calle, la gente hace obstaculos, allí es así que muchas de ella, nadie se pegan hacia fuera particularmente, las personas mayores, gente extranjera, ninos, muchachos, muchachas, hombres de negocios, trabajadores de construcción; cada uno es un pequeno pescado en esta agua. Hay apenas así que muchos de ellos que su cerebro da para arriba el proceso de lo que usted ve, toda esta gente estan apenas de su manera, su velocidad y tamano llega a ser mas importantes entonces sus vidas y sus caras.
Mi mente destellaba de nuevo a una época como esto en China, caminaba abajo de una calle apretada en Zhu Hai después de comer una comida deliciosa y me abrume por los millares y los millares de gente que podría ver en un vistazo simple. Me desinsecto el resto del día, recuerdo llamar a casa sobre el, que bueno está alcanzando hacia fuera a una persona en un lugar con millones y millones de gente perdida.
Vengo de una ciudad en donde en general usted reconoce a gente en la calle, usted don' de t la charla necesariamente a ella, pero usted echa un vistazo y sonríe o por lo menos nota su existencia.
Reflexionaba sobre estos pensamientos en mi cabeza cuando una mujer subió a mí y preguntó si contestaría a una pregunta. Pensé que la perdieron y que se placía ayudar.
Ella pregunto si había oído que Dios era una mujer.
Intenté sacudir a su y su compañero masculino, pero me persiguieron tragan la calle que intentaba discutirme. Era franco, les dije que intentaba comer mi taco y no tiene tiempo para ocuparse de cultos heréticos extraños.
Lamento eso.
Asustado de el desensetized a la gente, aprenderé nunca ver más allá de la multitud anónima? Puedo satisfacer mi meta de ver a gente como dios la ve? Como fotografo y como hombre? Mi corazon duele imaginandose cuanto debe quemar el suyo para toda esta gente, por todo el mundo, en millares de ciudades llenas con millares de gente…
Sunday, May 25, 2008
The Faceless Mob
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